About Beauty and Meaning of Trying

joshgun karimov
3 min readAug 29, 2022


“Notes on Beauty and Meaning of Trying”

No one in my family got his or her book published and translated into another language. No one in my country has Brian Tracy’s words on their book cover, recommending it. This part is the easiest part to write about. Let’s write about the hardest part.

My grandpa and my grandma could easily out-write many well-known authors. My dad would certainly get his books published and put into thousands of shelves. It all boils down to the economy of writing. Before starting this crazy venture I did some research. (Not to mention 4 years of English Language and Literature with my beloved Head of the Department, Frederick Alexander Magill.)

I found out that you need to be economically sustained in order to become worldwide phenomenon in prose. Yes, there are some outliers who did crazy things in terms of numbers but generally people who write to become one of the established names do not worry about money. In our households people always worried about money and the next month. They did not put typewriters but bread onto table.

Then what was my purpose of starting this path with 6 books? The answer is both simple and complicated.

Simple version is that I had things pouring out of me for years and Facebook came in handy. This way I build my follower base which transitioned into the reader base. I never paid a dime for any of my books publication. People pre-ordered or sponsored them. Every book had a creative campaign which gave me the buffer cash to type further. Complicated answer lays in our family’s love for books.

My dad used to carry kilos of papers to get free books. My mom read the entire library in her village. I remember how diligently placed was her Jane Eyre. My grandpa had thousands of books given to him due to his position. He sold most of them to feed his family in the darkest hours. Even in his last days he kept reading memoirs.

I am paying tribute to these people by my act. I am trying to get into that club with the big names. There are two obvious outcomes. First one, I fail miserably and stop my attempts. My fuel tank empties itself before I reach my dream. I feel empty and continue with my life just like anyone who stopped dreaming big and lived with devices plugged into their hearts in order to carry on.

Second one, I get noticed by the big publishing houses or people who open doors for more awareness. I do what I love and it pays the bills. (So far, it patiently watches how my speaking sessions do the paying part.)

Maybe there is another outcome which says, man, you try and do your best. You do your best because there lies the beauty of life in doing so. Doing what can be and cannot be done is what builds our characters.

Meaning of life is to understand our story. To accept it. Not to yield to its darker side but the master its arc of development. Anyone who knows literature knows “Deus ex Machina”. May be God himself will touch the scenario to give us the twist. But I do not wait. I strike just like Jack London would do. He said go after the inspiration with a bat.

Love of the books is so pathetic and sentimental. Yet, it is one the most meaningful loves that one can experience.

#book #books #literature #writing #2022



joshgun karimov

Author of five crowdfunded books KVAN, UBUNTU, ALAMO13, ONQAKU and LAMARTIN